It's My Nose's Birthday(Not Mine)-Jimmy Durante

[ti:It's My Nose's Birthday] [ar:Jimmy Durante] [al:The Great Durante] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]It's My Nose's Birthday(Not Mine) - Jimmy Durante [00:04.27]The other night I'm walking home [00:06.13]And feeling so gay [00:07.03] [00:07.80]When I'm walking home I'm always that way [00:09.81] [00:10.61]What a home I got [00:11.96]The kitchen is delightful the living room is grand [00:14.78] [00:15.50]And the bathroom is out of this world [00:17.90] [00:18.91]Which makes it a little bit inconvenient [00:21.08]When I opened up my door I got the grandest surprise [00:24.52] [00:25.88]All my friends were there and they began to harmonize [00:28.92] [00:33.45]Wait a minute wait a minute [00:34.39] [00:35.12]Curb your enthusiasm this isn't my birthday [00:37.00] [00:38.90]No but it's the birthday of someone near and dear to me [00:43.08] [00:43.79]It's my nose's birthday not mine [00:46.02] [00:47.57]And I'm proud to say the snoz is doing fine [00:50.49] [00:51.80]My nose was born upon this day in eighteen ninety three [00:55.22] [00:55.80]Exactly two weeks later the stork delivered me [00:58.73] [00:59.91]Was the first time that a nose outweighed the child [01:02.79] [01:03.59]When I was born my dad took one look at my snoz and said [01:06.61]Stork take that back [01:08.04] [01:09.35]Just because our country's emblem is an eagle [01:12.13]That don't mean we have to raise one [01:13.80] [01:14.40]But in spite of my dad [01:15.52]The snoz and I are closer than David and pretentious [01:17.81] [01:18.93]Not even a mustache has ever come between us [01:21.10] [01:22.21]I tried to raise a mustache once and what happened [01:25.05]Nutting [01:25.79]It wouldn't grow in the shade [01:27.41] [01:27.99]It's sabotage [01:28.52] [01:29.82]But I'm as happy as I can be [01:32.18] [01:33.27]Cuz it's my nose's golden adversary [01:35.84] [01:37.85]Looking back over the years [01:38.99] [01:39.89]The snoz and I weathered many a storm [01:41.78] [01:42.78]I remember years ago my first train ride [01:44.70] [01:45.83]I was on a lower birth when I decided to call the porter [01:48.67] [01:49.35]So I stuck my nose out through the curtain and what happened [01:52.08] [01:52.77]The porter came by grabbed my snoz and before I could pull it back in [01:57.07]He bruised it shined it polished and said [01:59.56] [02:00.12]Now where's the other shoe [02:01.14] [02:02.43]A big tear started to roll down my nose [02:04.30] [02:04.83]And it's a brave tear that will start on a trip like that [02:07.51] [02:08.50]I felt sorry for the snoz [02:09.80] [02:10.69]But I'm proud of [02:11.96]Why [02:12.14] [02:12.72]I'll tell ya [02:13.31] [02:14.01]The snoz was never unreasonable [02:15.44] [02:16.22]He'd never asked for no french rolled handkerchiefs [02:17.94] [02:18.84]He didn't need no french rolled handkerchiefs [02:20.69] [02:21.50]A whips of the cuff was enough [02:23.00] [02:23.85]Yes and I'll never forget the time the snoz saved my life [02:27.02] [02:28.04]I was one of those sultry weekends at the beach [02:30.10] [02:30.88]I'm in the water swimming the Australian crawl [02:33.18] [02:33.76]When I find myself face to face with a vicious swordfish [02:35.96] [02:37.31]He was about to attack [02:38.40] [02:38.98]But after taking a second look at me the swordfish said [02:41.65]I give up you're equipped with a superior weapon [02:44.48] [02:45.45]So ya see [02:46.01] [02:46.61]I'm as happy as I can be [02:48.84] [02:50.38]Cuz it's my nose's golden anniversary [02:52.06] [02:54.58]Yes it's my nose's golden anniversary