Skit - Voicemail 1-T.J. Miller/Doug Benson
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Skit - Voicemail 1 (Feat. Doug Benson) - T.J. Miller
T.J.
Waiter? Waiter!
Miller Davis
Ye-yes sir.
T.J.
Eh... What've you got there?
Davis
I uh- we have your dinner ready for you, sir.
T.J.
Oh, thank you. Lemme ask you a real quick question.
Where's Brooklyn at?
Davis
I-I'm sorry, sir?
T.J.
I said.. Where's Brooklyn at?
Davis
I believe it's one of the five boroughs of New York City.
T.J.
Oh yeah? I wanna burrow my head into your chest, what is your name?
Davis
Uh, my name is Miller, sir.
T.J.
Eughh, that's my name too. That's everyone's name nowadays.
I had a tough Wednesday, Miller.
Davis
I'm sorry to hear that, sir.
T.J.
I.. I broke up with my one true love.
Davis
Who was tha-
T.J.
Tennis! I love tennis. I love watching it
I love playing it. I love saying the word Wimbledon.
I don't wanna talk about.
What's his name, the piano player over there?
Davis
That's uh- that's Frederick, sir.
T.J.
Ahhh, Frederick.
Hey Frederick! Play one for the lonely hearted..
<piano music changes>
Maybe today, I'll find that special someone
Maybe today I won't cry
But every moment I'm away from her
Is another moment that I slowly die
Davis
Sir, your food is getting very co-
T.J.
Just listen! Each of us can
Find who they are, and if they're a man
Miller, Frederick, I love you..
Please give me my muscles and clams
Davis
Here you go, sir, it's the clam and muscle dish.
T.J.
I ordered muscles and clams!
-
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