Struck By A Vehicle-Dane Cook

[ti:Struck By A Vehicle] [ar:Dane Cook] [al:Retaliation] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Struck By A Vehicle - Dane Cook [00:02.52]Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true [00:04.79]I finally got to see something I've always wanted to witness live [00:08.27]I finally saw someone get hit by a car [00:10.19] [00:13.55]Nailed this guy got hit right in the hip [00:15.78] [00:16.75]That's your center of gravity [00:18.15]And that sends you flipping through the air [00:19.84]Like eddie gordo from tekken when someone doesn't know [00:21.96]How to do combos and they're just hitting the buttons randomly [00:23.93] [00:28.07]I always just miss it right [00:29.83]I'm looking and then I go to order my twisty cone [00:32.41] [00:34.18]Oh what what happened [00:34.98] [00:36.22]The guy got hit no [00:37.41] [00:38.23]I just went to order my twisty cone and I missed it [00:40.54] [00:42.29]This guy gets nailed this is the setup [00:45.94]He's walking down the street and [00:47.08]He's doing that whacky speed walk [00:49.03] [00:50.58]He's got the buds in his ears and [00:51.81]I don't know what you're listening to [00:53.11] [00:54.24]That makes you do this f**king walk [00:55.67] [00:56.93]Maybe just a tambourine or maracas [00:59.20]You're just [00:59.61] [01:02.80]So Johnny Tambourine is walking down the street [01:05.15] [01:07.52]He's got the not a good time to cross signal [01:10.16] [01:12.08]As he's going across [01:13.49]I see the car coming down the street [01:16.13]When I see the car coming I'm like [01:17.62]Yesssss finally don't talk to me don't talk to me [01:21.44]I gotta see this [01:22.62] [01:25.22]The guy goes flying into the air his shoes flew off [01:28.65] [01:30.20]When you get hit by a car [01:31.41]Sometimes your shoes will fly off [01:33.81]Sometimes your pants will come off [01:36.11]But I was not fortunate enough to see the pants [01:38.03]Portion on this strike [01:39.87] [01:42.03]And before I go any further here's the best part [01:44.97]This is how he lands on the other side of the car [01:48.78]Which was a dodge by the way [01:50.30]And I thought that was kind of funny and ironic [01:52.10] [01:52.87]I just I got a little humor out of that [01:55.06] [01:58.49]I did try to help this man [01:59.87] [02:00.96]As the car was coming towards him [02:02.76]I reached out and I said [02:05.74]Ohhhhh [02:06.54] [02:09.32]Ohhhhh [02:10.03] [02:11.12]That's all I could think of to say [02:12.56] [02:13.69]Theres so many things now in retrospect that [02:15.42]I would love [02:15.80]I would love to have been like [02:16.67]You're about to get struck by a vehicle [02:18.03] [02:19.37]I did not have time to say [02:20.41]You're about to get struck by a vehicle [02:21.73]So I went with ohhhhh [02:23.09] [02:24.36]Which is like a concerned moan [02:25.60] [02:27.81]The guy gets tagged okay the greatest part of the story [02:30.76]He's in the air flipping around [02:32.33]This is how he lands on the other side of the car [02:35.81]He comes down perfectly on his feet and then [02:38.31]He jumps in the air [02:39.87]And he starts walking around embarassed [02:41.79] [02:46.18]He's trying to play it off like [02:47.26]He didn't just get hit by a car [02:49.14] [02:52.74]People around him are like [02:54.01]Oh my God oh my God [02:54.93]Are you alright [02:55.33]Are you okay [02:56.07]He's like [02:56.45]I'm fine I'm fine seriously [02:57.76]I'm fine I'm a little bit hungry [02:59.52]But uh other than that I'm fine [03:01.42]No you should really sit down [03:02.81]You're bleeding from the ears [03:03.79] [03:04.40]I know I know that I do that [03:05.85] [03:07.30]Every couple of weeks I empty the blood [03:08.55]Out of my own head [03:09.58] [03:10.42]It's tradition in my family has anyone seen my shoes [03:13.02] [03:14.46]I kicked them off in a fit of joy [03:16.01] [03:17.69]I love getting struck by vehicles and sometimes [03:19.42]I'll kick my shoes off in a fit of joy [03:22.11]I'm fine I'm just gonna go over here [03:23.16]And puke shards of my own [03:24.52]Pelvis into this bush [03:25.57] [03:26.39]Puking noises