Hello-Goodbye-George Carlin

Hello-Goodbye (Live) - George Carlin Hi howdy hello how are ya how do ya do How ya doin hows it goin whats goin on Whats new whatdya think whatdya hear Whatdya say whatdya feel whats shakin Whats happenin que pasa whats goin down What it is Well we got all kinds of ways to say hello Weve got lots of ways to say hello You know what my favorite is Hows you hammer hangin Thats a good one isnt it Doesnt work to well with women Unless youre talking to a female carpenter Then its all right Ive always wanted to say That one to a high church official good evening Your Holiness how hangs the hammer So far havent had that opportunity Then theres one way to say hello that I really dont care for One way I really dont like You know some people will say to you Are they keepin ya busy As if someone has the right to come Up and give me odd jobs They say are they keepin ya busy I say Well your wife is keeping me pretty busy Ill tell ya that And that seems to hold em for about a half hour Then theres a lot of ways to say goodbye Weve figured out all kinds of ways to say goodbye too We say bye bye so long see ya later Take it easy be cool hang loose stay in there Ya know what my favorit eisDont get run over Well some people need practical advice Some guysll say to ya hey have a good one I say hey I already have a good one Now Im lookin for a longer one And that seems to hold em for about half an hour Then ya have all the foreign words to say goodbye Some guys when theyre leavin ya They think they gotta get tricky And theyll whip an arivederche on ya Or avoir or avwhiderzein or adios Or the American version of that one Adios mothaf**ker Or aloha Thats a nice one isnt it aloha They say that in Hawaii of course It means hello and goodbye Which just goes to show if you Spend to much time in the sun You dont know whether youre comin or goin Then have you noticed this You get in a rut with the way you say goodbye You ever find yourself using the same phrase over And over again with everybody You feel a little stupid LIke if your leavin a party And you have to say goodbye To five people you say ok hey take it wasy Ok hey take it easy ok hey take it easy You feel like a goddamn moron ya know SO you know what I do Every month I change the way I say goodbye Whether I need to or not every month I start usin a different phrase People notice that they appreciate that extra effort Theyll say to me pardon me didnt you used to say Ok hey take it easy I say yes I did but not anymore Now I say farewell Farewell til we meet again peace be with you May the forces of evil become confused On the way to your house Thats a strong one isnt it People will remember you if you talk like that Then sometimes you can combine certain ways To say goodbye that dont really seem to go together like Toodle oo go with god And dont take any wooden nickles Then people dont know what the f**k youre talking about Or you can say goodbye in a realistic manner So long Steve dont let self doubt interfere with plans To improve your life Well some people need practical advice