Life's Little Moments-George Carlin

[ti:Life's Little Moments] [ar:George Carlin] [al:Parental Advisory - Explicit Lyrics] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.44]Life's Little Moments (Live) - George Carlin [00:12.41]Have you ever been in a serious social situation [00:16.73]When you suddenly realize you have [00:18.80]To pull the underwear out of the crack in your a*s [00:32.08]You take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife [00:43.13]Huh who her oh hell yeah [00:50.24]Well it's one life's little moments isn't it [00:53.18]It's one of those little moments [00:54.73]You have to deal with at the time [00:57.53]You've got to get in there and clear that thing out [01:01.82]You've got to rescue your underwear [01:05.48]There's a letter in your mailbox [01:11.35]That's right [01:19.33]You ever been at a really loud party [01:21.11]I mean a good loud party [01:22.47]Where the music is playing too loud [01:24.48]And everybody is talking too loudly [01:26.69]And in order to be heard even by the person [01:29.07]Standing right next to you [01:30.47]You've got to be screaming at the top of you lungs [01:33.84]But every now and then at a party [01:35.96]It seems as though everyone shuts up at the same time [01:40.13]And only your voice can be heard [01:45.10]Right I know I know [01:47.67]Well what I'm going to do [01:49.27]I'm gonna have my testicles [01:51.09]Laminated life's little moments [02:06.32]You ever been talking to someone [02:07.54]And you laugh through your nose [02:08.60]And blow a snot on your shirt [02:17.99]And you have to just kind of keep talking you know [02:21.98]And make believe it's part of the design [02:26.94]Works alright if you're wearing a hawaiian shirt [02:30.81]But otherwise they're gonna notice [02:33.69]Ed you got a big snot on your shirt [02:42.41]Some guys are really cruel you know [02:45.77]And some of these things are not even your fault [02:48.88]These little things that happen [02:50.16]You didn't 'cause the situation [02:51.73]A lot of times you're the victim [02:53.41]You walk into some situation [02:55.38]And suddenly you're the one who's taking all the heat [02:57.86]Not your fault [02:59.36]I'll give you an example of the kind of thing I mean [03:01.86]Did you ever meet somebody [03:03.17]And you go to shake the guy's hand [03:05.50]Then you suddenly realize [03:08.33]He doesn't have a complete hand [03:13.45]And you got to make believe it feels great right [03:17.80]You can't go aaaaaaaaaah waaaaaaaaaahhhhh waaaaahhhh [03:26.67]You can't do that [03:28.85]It's not even an option [03:34.38]You've got to hang in there and say [03:36.07]Hi hey swell hand give me three [03:43.47]Boooomp boooomp boooomp boooomp boomp boomp boooomp [03:47.78]High three yo boomp not your fault [03:53.34]You didn't 'cause that [03:56.23]You weren't even there when it happened to the guy