Absolutely Positively....Practical Jokes (Explicit LP Version)-MC Lyte

[ti:Absolutely Positively....Practical Jokes (Explicit LP Version)] [ar:MC Lyte] [al:Act Like You Know] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Absolutely Positively....Practical Jokes (Explicit LP Version) - MC Lyte [00:19.44]I play practical jokes [00:20.81]Just to get a laugh haha [00:22.31]I put roaches in my neighbor's bubblebath haha [00:24.51]But anyway one day she called upon me [00:27.11]She said lyte it's an emergency [00:29.46]My next door neighbor had an errand to run [00:31.24]I said why ms davis ask your son [00:33.71] [00:34.39]She said ricky's at his grandmother's [00:36.29]I said well what about tommy [00:37.83]The younger brother [00:38.61]She said see umm he's at the pharmacy [00:41.22]I said he'll be back soon [00:42.32]How much longer could it be [00:43.68]She said c'mon please it's just a trip uptown [00:46.05]If you leave right now [00:47.08]You'll be back before sundown [00:48.80]Hurry up there's not a moment to spare [00:50.81]It absolutely positively has to get there [00:53.11]Umm I contemplated [00:54.57]Then I played a good samaritan [00:55.82]I started the car then she [00:57.21]Threw the package in [00:58.16]It absolutely positively has to get there [01:00.22]Get there [01:00.70]It absolutely positively has to get there [01:02.72]It absolutely positively has to get there [01:05.30]It absolutely positively got to get there [01:07.15]Yo who you rushin [01:08.08]Pumpin out the music on the fdr [01:09.49] [01:10.17]Not far behind me was a dt car [01:12.37]So I eased up selector 55 the digit [01:15.43]But on the fdr 40 is the limit [01:17.19] [01:17.72]Here they come sirens on [01:19.52] [01:20.08]I could see myself in jail til the break of dawn [01:22.32]But they rolled right by [01:23.46]It wasn't me they was after [01:24.90]A little red corvette [01:26.06]They was tryin to capture [01:27.38]Dread I feel sweat so I set down my jacket [01:29.81]Look up ahead now that's what I call traffic [01:31.71] [01:32.25]Dipped to an exit and I made my way through [01:34.62]Couldn't believe when I hit first avenue [01:37.03]On a honda's a** just about to crash [01:39.58]Looked at the gauge and the sh*t said no gas [01:41.60] [01:42.11]Zero nada nothing in here see [01:44.69]In car terms the sh*t was on empty [01:46.70]Got out and pushed the sh*t to the side [01:48.72] [01:49.25]Hailed a cab then I caught a quick ride [01:51.52]To the house of inflation [01:52.79]Yes the gas station [01:53.60] [01:54.13]Gave a little tip to show my appreciation [01:56.49]Got back to the ave where I left my car [01:58.79]It wasn't there but it couldn't have gone far [02:00.92]Hot damn I must have got towed [02:03.56]Tried to figure out how much money I owed [02:06.01]Went to the pound and I paid my debt [02:08.49]Think that was the worst [02:09.53]You ain't heard nuttin yet [02:10.99]Bumped into that crackhead sam I used to see [02:13.44]And like always hand out give me money [02:15.97]In my tank was a dollar's worth of gas [02:18.55]I had to get a nice machine fast [02:20.87]It absolutely positively has to get there [02:22.39]Get there [02:22.81]It absolutely positively got to get there [02:24.88]What [02:25.36]It absolutely positively got to get there [02:27.58]It absolutely positively has to get there [02:30.10]As I left the bank to walk back to the bm [02:32.41] [02:32.92]Couldn't believe what my eyes were seein [02:35.31]Looked at the back tire it was flate [02:37.67]While the other three were so damn fat [02:40.26]A brother walked by and offered his help [02:42.10]Ordinarily I woulda did the sh*t myself [02:44.67]But he changed it quick so I passed him a ten [02:47.14] [02:47.83]Here I go on this journey again [02:49.31]Went to the gas station to fill it up [02:51.74]When a crackhead from nowhere grabbed the pump [02:54.27]I said look I don't need your help today [02:56.72]And I scared the motherf**ker [02:58.08]And he was on his way [02:59.55]Oops a cat sh*t scrat [03:01.96]Fur on my tires and all that [03:04.76]What's this a stroke of bad luck [03:06.68]But at this point [03:07.70]I don't even give a f**k [03:09.32]I got to get the package to the destination [03:11.83]No matter what the confrontation [03:14.24]I arrive bag in my hand [03:16.48]Lookin for a woman named pam [03:18.06] [03:18.70]She opened the bag [03:19.75]It was wrapped tight and snug [03:21.36]But in that bag yo in that bag [03:23.51]45 guess what what was it lyte [03:26.16]It was a box of q tips a box of f**kin q tips man [03:29.42]Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha