Tubby The Tuba-Danny Kaye

[ti:Tubby The Tuba] [ar:Danny Kaye] [al:Danny Kaye - The Album] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.77]Once upon a time there was an orchestraWhich was all busy tuning up [00:04.84] [00:05.84]First the oboe gave his A to the strings [00:07.84] [00:08.65]Then to the woodwinds and to the brass [00:11.96] [00:13.09]Up and around the scales they raced helter-skelter [00:15.65]Faster and faster All but Tubby the tuba; he was a fat little tubaPuffing away [00:26.65] [00:27.22]But oh so slow [00:29.03] [00:32.64]'Oh what lovely music ' thought Tubby and he sighed ' [00:37.01] [00:39.58]Here what's the matter ' [00:40.39]Said Peepo the Piccolo'Oh ' said Tubby ' [00:49.31]Every time we do a new piece [00:51.12]You all get such pretty melodies to playAnd [00:52.50]I never never a pretty melody ' [00:55.31] [00:56.75]But people never write pretty melodies for tubas [00:59.06]It just isn't done Shhh there's the conductor [01:02.88] [01:03.81]First the violins danced their lovely little tune on their strings [01:07.25] [01:11.44]Then they cried to the flute 'Catch ''Got it ' cried the flute [01:16.19] [01:20.00]'My turn ' tooted the trumpet And the rest joined in [01:29.51] [01:31.88]The cello then the oboe and the bassoon [02:02.21]While Tubby went oompah oompah oompah oompah'Catch me ' [02:05.71]The little tune 'Catch me ''Hmhmhmhm I got you ' [02:08.02]Cried Tubby 'Oh you're sitting on me ' said the little tune [02:10.21]Poor Tubby picked up the flat little tune [02:11.84]And tried to squeeze it back into shape 'You clumsy fool ' [02:15.96]Snapped the violins 'I'm sorry Mr Fiddle ' [02:18.84] [02:21.51]Said Tubby 'Fiddle Fiddle indeed ' [02:24.45]And the violins quivered with great indignation ' [02:26.01] [02:28.52]You will please address us as violins fiddles indeed ' [02:32.33] [02:34.01]'Tubby ' said the conductor 'Tubby what is the matter ' [02:37.36] [02:39.30]'Please sir I thought it would be so nice to dance with the pretty little tune [02:44.49]Instead of just going oompah oompah all the time ' [02:46.61] [02:48.42]'Dance ' laughed the violins 'Dance Well really ' [02:53.82]The French horn quietly put his hand to his mouth and smiled [02:57.20]And the whole orchestra began to laugh 'Stop it ' [03:03.78]The conductor 'Stop it I say Tubby ''Please sir [03:06.15] [03:09.66]I wasn't laughing ' Rehearsal was over [03:14.66] [03:16.09]Tubby was walking home with Pipo the Piccolo [03:18.91] [03:24.66] 'Please Peepo ' said Tubby 'I just feel so bad [03:28.41]I don't think I want any company ''I understand ' [03:32.33]Peepo 'Good night ''Good night ' said Tubby [03:35.65] [03:38.40]The moon was out and Tubby went to the river and sat on a log [03:42.40]And he looked at himself in the water [03:43.84] [03:45.72](sings) Alone am I me and I together [03:54.16] [03:57.28]If I went away from me how unhappy I would be [04:06.10] [04:08.66]Me and I oh my [04:13.04] [04:16.54]The trees whispered in the wind and the waterfalls tinkled Suddenly [04:19.23] [04:24.48]A big bullfrog hopped out of the water and sat beside him.(croaking) [04:27.92]Lovely evening I said lovely evening [04:36.54] [04:42.04]I said beautiful evening [04:45.11]Hello hello hello [04:47.04] [04:49.84]But Tubby just sat 'Oh well said the frog [04:53.97]'Oh well If I'm not wanted ''Oh ' cried Tubby ' [04:58.53]Please Mr Frog come back I didn't mean to be impolite [05:01.16] [05:02.10] 'Back hopped the frog 'Oh that's all right [05:07.29]I'm used to it No one pays any attention to me [05:09.85] [05:11.04]Either ''Really ' said Tubby 'Why of course [05:13.66]Every night I sit here and sing my heart out [05:15.98] [05:17.23]But does anyone listen No ''Can you sing ' asked Tubby [05:21.29] [05:25.77]'Can I sing Listen ' (sings a melody)'Oh that's lovely ' said Tubby ' [05:51.98]You try it ' said the frog 'Oh thank you ' said Tubby (repeats melody) [05:58.80] 'Say you're a very fine tuba do you know it Tubby [06:00.98]You should try that on your orchestra some time [06:02.67] [06:03.30]''Oh I will ' said Tubby 'Goodbye Mr Frog ' [06:05.99] [06:10.27]And off went Tubby as happy as happy could be 'Hmm ' [06:13.83]Said the frog 'Most appreciative audience I've ever had [06:15.89]Fine musician that tuba Good night ' [06:20.33] [06:24.35]The next day the orchestra was busy tuning up for the rehearsal [06:26.60]And buzzing with excitement over the arrival of the great new conductor [06:29.60] [06:30.48]Signor Pizzicato [06:31.55] [06:35.93]'Here he comes " called the French horn [06:37.55]'Here comes Signor Pizzicato.'(taps stick) 'All right [06:40.68] [07:01.36]Gentlemen let us begin ' [07:02.93]And Tubby began to play-his own little melody [07:04.93](Plays)'Oh that wretched tuba ' snapped the violins [07:06.55]'He'll disgrace us 'The trombone stuck out his tongue (blaahh) [07:08.74]And the trumpets snickered (ahahahahah) 'Tubby ' [07:09.87]Said Signor Pizzicato [07:11.49]'Tubby I've never heard a tuba play a melody before [07:14.31]Would you play the rest of it '"Oh ' said Tubby [07:17.28](orchestra plays)'Why how perfectly wonderful ' said the strings [07:44.85]'Please Tubby may we sing your tune too ''How about me ' [07:46.97]Said the xylophone 'And me ' said the trombone 'May I ' [07:59.38] [08:00.32]Said the cellist 'Here I come ' said Peepo [08:07.58] [08:10.89]And they all played [08:15.39] [08:17.51]'Well we've done it haven't we Tubby ' [08:45.50]It was the bullfrog sitting right beside him 'Oh ' thought Tubby [08:48.32] [08:49.44]'How happy I am '