Not Alone-The Tossers

[ti:Not Alone] [ar:The Tossers] [al:Agony] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Not Alone - The Tossers [00:09.38]I remember the rosary [00:10.90]The catechism and the stations of the 'cross [00:13.65] [00:14.35]The plenary indulgence and I know it isn't this [00:18.75]Depression and nightmares and panic through and through [00:23.35]Although I have been successful [00:25.34]There is always more to do [00:27.65]There are many things I know [00:29.50]I have done to help me to survive [00:32.07]But I will never tell anyone as long as [00:35.22]I am alive [00:36.79]It seems at times there is no way [00:38.95]Out not any to escape [00:40.74] [00:41.33]Because of abuse and turmoil [00:43.52]And trauma and of rape [00:45.69] [00:49.25]I feel eyes upon me every minute of the day [00:53.33] [00:53.97]Hiding all around me I turn my head away [00:58.14]I've seen them in my bedroom when I am exhausted and done [01:02.62]I've been seeing them for years but [01:04.96]I've never told anyone [01:07.07]I am walking into doors and walls 'cause [01:09.79]I am not all there [01:11.62]I've split from a reality of what I didn't want to share [01:15.88]I can tune out conversations and with what the outside world is [01:20.53]Then sex just didn't matter in my relationships [01:25.20] [01:28.75]You can't rely on feelings when love and trust is first betrayed [01:32.64]I enter sexual situations [01:34.98]I really didn't even want to make [01:37.36]'Cause I was anxious [01:38.52]I was bored or any non sexual need [01:42.03]When abuse is matched with affection [01:44.14]Or protection it misleads [01:46.55]I say drop what you do and listen 'cause [01:48.71]Now it's me that calls the shots [01:51.16]This is the sign of a life of out of control adults [01:55.77]I sometimes drink to oblivion in spite of what I know [02:00.12]I sometimes create chaos anywhere I go [02:04.45]Always anxious always have to move to help me to forget [02:08.76] [02:09.45]Feelings of little value or humiliation yet [02:13.68]And because there was no one there for me [02:15.98]I expect people to leave [02:17.99]So I repeatedly test them and this is what [02:21.08]You've done to me [02:22.10]I know they way I've overworked myself has turned out positively [02:26.90]And that many other people don't have my opportunities [02:31.30]Goodness yeah you can make [02:33.19]It you are well on your way to heal [02:35.72]Because you already know it and [02:38.06]You already know the deal [02:39.97]No you are not alone this is sadism [02:42.58]And this is not your fault [02:44.57]And who would choose to live through [02:46.76]This so it is not yours at all [02:49.12]And you know this was given to you [02:51.35]So let's put it out of your home [02:53.44]And you know that this is not yours and [02:55.95]You are not alone [02:57.73] [03:00.41]You are not alone