MTV (LP版)-Lewis Black

[ti:MTV (LP Version)] [ar:Lewis Black] [al:Luther Burbank Performing Arts Center Blues] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]MTV (LP版) - Lewis Black [00:00.72]And then I knew things had taken a turn for the worse [00:03.57]When 3 years ago [00:05.09]They hired MTV to do the Halftime Show [00:08.83]And you know why would you hire MTV to do music [00:13.04] [00:14.79]MTV has nothing to do with music okay [00:23.99]MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken [00:27.21] [00:34.99]MTV is video and video goes where [00:37.83] [00:39.09]In your eye music goes in your ear [00:44.26] [00:45.28]Ear eye eye ear [00:47.54] [00:48.78]Big f**king difference music is like a drug [00:56.94]When you hear it you have a vision [00:58.83]And that vision can change over time or remain the same [01:02.30]You know that first time when you're in love and you hear a love song [01:05.50]And you think every time you think about it [01:07.71]You have that vision of your special someone [01:09.72] [01:10.37]And then 2 years after you broke up you're at the bar [01:13.67] [01:15.22]And you hear that song and you go [01:17.13]"Son of a b**ch I'll have a Yager" [01:19.67] [01:29.99]But whatever your vision is I will tell you [01:32.74] [01:33.26]If you're watching a music video [01:35.50] [01:36.56]And the video is exactly the same as your vision [01:39.60] [01:40.46]Kill yourself [01:41.02] [01:50.14]MTV had brought to the stage that day Britney Spears [01:54.01]N'Sync and [01:54.70]Aerosmith and they were playing music together [01:58.47]If that's what you could f**kin' call it [02:00.42] [02:01.93]It was staggering to watch It was so painful [02:04.83]I actually took a spoon and shoved it up my own a** [02:07.20] [02:09.78]Because if I'm gonna hurt that bad [02:11.70]I'm gonna do it to myself [02:12.82] [02:25.80]So it was absolutely extraordinary when CBS hired MTV [02:28.88] [02:29.92]To do the Super bowl this year [02:31.50] [02:32.15]Unbelievable and that CBS would be shocked that [02:36.22]MTV couldn't present a Family Halftime Show [02:39.59] [02:42.71]Had none of the executives at CBS ever turned on MTV [02:45.65] [02:46.34]All you gotta to do is watch it for 5 minutes [02:48.45]And know that it should be called 'The Boner Network' [02:50.35] [02:52.80]Kids come home from school [02:54.07]"I'm gonna watch MTV" [02:54.67]And they lock themselves in their room [02:56.73]And just put their little peckers right up on the set [02:58.88] [03:13.37]And let me tell you [03:14.39]It will continue no matter what has happened [03:16.11] [03:17.03]Because of the recent events [03:18.19] [03:19.24]I will guarantee that it will continue to [03:21.81]Evolve the way it has evolved [03:23.26] [03:24.02]The halftime show in ten years [03:25.47] [03:26.34]Will literally be just planes [03:27.51] [03:28.02]Flying over the stadium and dropping sh*t on people [03:30.10] [03:34.23]While an orchestra plays classical music