What It Was, Was Football-Andy Griffith

What It Was, Was Football It was back last October, I believe it was. We was a-goin t hold A tent service in this college town. And we got thar about dinnertime on Saturday And different ones Of us thought we ought to get us a mouthful to eat before That we set up the tent. And so, we got down off of the truck and followed this little bunch of People through this small little bitty patch of woods. And we come up on a big sign, says Get somethin to eat here! And I went up and got me two hot dogs and a big Orange drink. And before I could take ary mouthful of that food this whole raft of People come up around me And got me to where i couldnt eat nothin up like And i dropped my big orange drink. i did! Well friends, they commenced to move and they wasnt so much I could do except to move with em. Well, we commenced to go through all kinds of doors and gates And i dont know what all, and i looked up over one of em And it says north gate, and we kept on a-goin through there, And pretty soon we come up on a young boy. And he says Ticket, please And I says Friend, I dont have a ticket. I dont even know where it is that Im a-goin. I did! Well he says Come out as quick as you can. And I says Ill do erIll turn around the first chance I get. Well, we kept on a-movin through there and pretty soon everyone Got where it was that they was agoin because they parted And i could see pretty good. i could! And what I seen was this whole raft a people a-settin on these Two banks and a-lookin at one another acrosst this purty little Green cow pasture! well, they was! and somebody had took And drawed white lines all over it and drove posts in it and I dont know what all! And I looked down there and I seen Five or six convicts a-runnin up and down and a-blowin whistles! They was! And then I looked down there and I seen these pretty girls A-wearin these little bitty short dresses and a-dancin around, An so i set down and thought id see what it was that was A-gonna happen. i did! And about the time I got set down good, I looked down there And i seen thirty or forty men come a-runnin out of one end Of a great big outhouse down there! they did! An everybody where I was a-settin got up and hollered! And about that time thirty or forty come a-runnin out of the Other end of that outhouse and the other bank full THEY got up and hollered! An I asked this feller that was a-settin beside me, I says Friend, what is it that theyre a-hollerin for? Well he whopped me on the back and he says Buddy, have a drink! Well, I says I believe I will have another big Orange. An I got it and set back down. An when I got back down there again, I seen that them men Had got in two little bitty bunches down there. They hadreal close together--and they voted! They did! They voted and elected one man apiece. And them two men come out in the middle of that cow pasture And shook hands like they hadnt seen one another in a long time. And then a convict come over to where they was a-standin an he Took out a quarter and they commenced to odd-man right there! They did! Well, after a while I seen what it was that they was a-odd-mannin for. It was that both bunches-full of them men wanted this funny-lookin Little punkin to play with! they did, and i know friends that they Couldnt-a eat it cause they kicked it the whole evenin And it never busted! But anyhow what I was a-tellin was that both bunches-full wanted That thang and one bunch got it an it made the other bunch Just as mad as they could be and friends i seen that evenin The awfullest fight that id ever seen in my life! I did! They would run at one another and kick one another And throw one another down and stomp on one another And grind their feet in one another and i dont know what all! And just as fast as one would get hurt theyd tote him off And run anothern on! Well, they done that as long as I set there but pretty soon This boy that had said ticket please he come up to me and He says friend, youre gonna have to leave because it is that You dont have a ticket. and i says well, alright an i got up An left. an i dont know, friends, until this day what it was that they Was a-doin down there, but i have studied about it, and i think its Some kindly of a contest where they see which bunch-full of them Men can take that punkin an run from one end of that cow pasture To the othern without either gettin knocked down Er steppin in somethin !