Channel 5: The Musical(Studio)-Bo Burnham

[ti:Channel 5: The Musical] [ar:Bo Burnham] [al:What.] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Channel 5: The Musical(Studio) - Bo Burnham [00:23.25]Tonight at 10 [00:24.58]The world is ending again [00:25.95]And we know why and when [00:27.52]So you better watch [00:29.10]We got a bit with some feminist chick [00:31.90]And also a picture of a starlet's crotch [00:34.55]Two people died a double homicide [00:36.88]Their bodies found inside [00:38.81]Of a wishing well [00:40.18]And we tackle the flaws [00:41.57]In these obesity laws [00:42.98]In this segment that's sponsored [00:44.71]By Taco Bell [00:46.22]We've got violence danger sex and *** [00:49.32]And it's awesome cause all of it's real [00:51.72]We do the illusion of news [00:53.39]And while you think you're choosing the views [00:55.49]That you feel [00:56.66]All of this and more and live [00:58.23]Only on the Channel 5 News [01:03.72]Only on the Channel 5 News [01:09.38]Only on the Channel 5 [01:19.13]We've got Chip Walker live at the scene [01:20.59]With breaking news Chip are you there [01:22.21]Chip Walker here [01:23.97]Am I coming in clear [01:25.50]I'm standing near [01:26.65]To the scene of the crime [01:28.16]This Iraqi guy's shop [01:29.61]Seemed a newsworthy spot [01:30.96]So we've been gathering shots here for quite some time [01:34.10]Today real fast [01:35.10]The owner's daughter passed [01:36.45]We grabbed a shot of her ass [01:38.01]While the owner was near [01:39.46]Then he struck my chest [01:41.03]And now he's under arrest [01:42.29]And now you people have one less [01:44.23]Man to fear [01:45.48]This family's angry crying sad and lost [01:48.41]And it's awesome cause all of it's real [01:51.03]I do the illusion of news [01:52.55]And while you think you're [01:53.87]Choosing the views that you feel [01:56.06]More as this develops live [01:57.49]Only on the Channel 5 News [02:03.09]Only on the Channel 5 News [02:08.68]Only on the Channel 5 News [02:12.67]We go now to Max Stevens [02:14.05]With the weather for the weekend [02:15.15]What are we looking at here [02:16.37]Umbrellas or picnic baskets [02:18.50]Max [02:19.99]Only on the Channel 5 News [02:22.42]We're experiencing technical [02:24.07]Difficulties please stand by [02:42.85]Alright we got a signal Cut to Max [02:44.72]Good evening hi [02:46.02]It's your weather guy [02:47.43]I advise you to buy [02:48.61]Another lightning rod [02:50.37]We didn't catch [02:51.47]This impending disaster [02:53.13]Maybe it's natural maybe it's God [02:55.90]The sliding mud [02:57.18]The incoming flood [02:58.42]Will never wash the blood [02:59.87]From my greedy old hands [03:01.60]This job was fun I had a pretty good run [03:04.28]But I've never been one to give in to demands [03:07.71]People are angry crying sad and lost [03:10.56]And it's awful cause all of it's real [03:13.73]We do the illusion of news [03:15.33]And while you think you're choosing the views that you feel [03:17.97]All of this and more and live [03:19.46]Only on the Channel 5 [03:20.92]Only on the Channel 5 [03:22.57]Only-only-on [03:27.84]Only on the Channel 5 [03:33.58]Only on the Channel 5 [03:38.68]Only on the Channel 5 [03:44.67]Only on the Channel 5 News [03:50.40]Only on the Channel 5 [03:56.05]Only on the Channel 5 [04:01.68]Only on the Channel 5 [04:07.24]Only on the Channel 5 News [04:13.04]Only on the Channel 5 [04:18.71]Only on the Channel 5