The Waiter and the Porter and the Upstairs Maid(Live)-Jack Teagarden and His Orchestra/Mary Martin/Bing Crosby

As your genial host may I offer a toast To the wine buying guest on my right (Hooray for the wine buyer) Yes drag out the cooking Sherry for the old colonel May his bank account grow Heavy laden with dough May he spend it in here every night (Every night) Seeing this night in its glory You people so loyal so true Puts me in mind of a story Tell us about it pray do-o-o-o-o-o The people in the ballroom Were stuffy and arty So I began to get just a little bit frayed I sneaked into the kitchen I dug me a party The waiter And the porter And the second storey maid I peeked into the parlour to see What was a-hatchin In time to hear the hostess Suggest a charade But who was in the pantry a-laughin an scratchin Oh The waiter And the porter And the upstairs maid When they heard the music That the orchestra played The waiter and the porter grabbed A-hold of the maid Then they all proceeded to go into a clog Hot diggedy dog If ever I invited to some fuddy-duddy I ain a-gonna watch any harlequinade You and l find him in the kitchen Applaudin his buddies The waiter And the porter And the upstairs maid Well pardon me folks The roast is carved The wine is served Why you look half starved Pardon me sir may we be free The kitchen guard is havin a jamboree (Orchestral break) I went and got a dish Pan to use as a cymbal The porter found the regular Glass that he played The fingers of the waiter Were each in a thimble You should-a heard the music That the combination made Marchin' through the kitchen to The pantry and back Why man you should-a seen us We were ballin' the jack Once a half an hour Passed without any call Jack we had a ball The waltzes and mazurkas We hate 'em we spurn 'em We got a lot of rhythms We wanna hear played Yes and we know who to go to When we want to learn 'em The waiter and the porter And the upstairs maid