Phosphenes-Casey

[ti:Phosphenes] [ar:Casey] [al:Where I Go When I Am Sleeping] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Phosphenes - Casey [00:13.58]I feel the veins that sit behind my eyes grow varicose [00:18.88]As gentle light starts filtering through fractured blinds [00:24.04]That shade the world from me [00:26.44] [00:27.24]You'd always watch me as I'd wax and wane [00:30.69]Fluoxetine and slow decay [00:34.30]Dependence on a medicine is hell without relief [00:40.23] [00:40.96]I am bereft of the ineffable affections I feel I am owed [00:48.16]My vacancy and apathy are all that I have left to show [00:54.69]For years I spent in isolation for chemicals that took the place [01:01.48]Of fleeting moments in which I found reprieve from misery [01:07.70] [01:08.38]And it seems the only solace I'm afforded is now [01:12.78]Instead of wanting to kill myself I just sleep [01:16.55] [01:17.87]I guess progress really isn't want I thought it would be [01:21.21] [01:22.10]And as I lay supine and let the phosphenes fade after another collapse [01:27.37]I'm left to contemplate if I'm really getting better [01:32.35]Or if I'm just numb to the feeling of falling apart [01:37.01] [01:49.35]My dichotomy has always been that I'm scared [01:53.84]Of burdening those who love me [01:56.78]But knowing I need help before I die afraid and lonely [02:03.64] [02:06.90]But maybe it's all in my head [02:11.06] [02:24.13]The irony I face is that whenever I try to medicate my aches [02:31.59] [02:32.56]It kills the only part of me that makes me want to stay [02:38.28] [02:50.88]And as I lay supine and let the phosphenes [02:54.02]Fade after another collapse I'm left to contemplate [02:57.28]If I'm really getting better [03:00.21] [03:00.72]Or if I'm just numb to the feeling of falling apart