On Finding the Studio Banjo-Half Man Half Biscuit

Unemployment’s rising in the Chigley end of town It’s spreading like pneumonia Doesn’t look like going down There’s trouble at the fire station someone’s had the sack And the lads are going to launch a scheme to get rid of Captain Flack Tell PC McGarry to get himself a mate And arm themselves with CS gas They’re gonna be out late We’ve had Can't conformism since 1966 And now subversion’s in the air in the shape of flying bricks Someone get a message through to Captain Snort That they’d better start assembling the boys from the fort And keep Mrs Honeyman right out of sight ‘Cos there’s going to be a riot down in Trumpton tonight All this aristocracy has really got to stop We can overthrow the surgery and kidnap Dr Mopp And Chippy Minton’s Socialists could storm the Market Square And make plans to assassinate our autocratic Mayor Windy Militant leads his Basque-like corn grinders to war With windmill sails and bombs with nails they smash the town hall door But Snorty and his boys arrive with one big erstwhile crew Whereupon they bring about a military coup Someone get a message through to Captain Snort That they’d better start assembling the boys from the fort And keep Mrs Honeyman right out of sight ‘Cos there’s going to be a riot down in Trumpton tonight