Pools of Mud-Holywater

Why when a mind tries to move forward it always break off? I just want to do things in my own way but it couldn't be, there's always a wall that stops all the hopeful trains that desire a brand new good time I'm fading out I need a hand and help me, my spirit's losing it's sense and the air is tasting strangely through an open window my life escapes I don't believe what I feel is killing me now I don't believe what I see is digging me down deep pools of mud swallowing pieces of my goodwill like a good boy that tries to help is causing more harm, this is now me during the day all that I see is covered with dirt I just need a hand so help me, the tears are trickling down my cheeks and there's no wind to dry them here only birds are dancing to my music I don't believe what I feel is killing me now I don't believe what I see is digging me down