Song Of Reproduction-Flanders & Swann

[0:09.27] both: i had a little gramophone, [0:13.93] i'd wind it round and round. [0:17.48] and with a sharpish needle, [0:21.25] it made a cheerful sound. [0:24.65] and then they amplified it, [0:27.83] it was much louder then. [0:31.57] and used sharpened fibre needles, [0:34.80] to make it soft again. [0:38.74] today for reproduction, [0:41.32] i'm as eager as can be. [0:43.69] count me among the faithful fans, [0:46.94] of high fidelity. [0:52.23] high fidelity, [0:54.48] hi-fi's the thing for me. [0:56.94] with an lp disk and an fm set, [0:59.64] and a corner reflex cabinet. [1:02.46] high frequency range, [1:04.42] complete with auto-change. [1:06.70] flanders: all the highest notes neither sharp nor flat, [1:09.35] swann: the ear can't hear as high as that. [1:11.52] flanders: still, i ought to please any passing bat, [1:14.41] swann: with my high fidelity. [1:17.09] flanders: who made this circuit up for you, anyway? [1:20.62] bought it in a shop? shhuuuuuuuu! [1:22.62] oooh, what a horrible shoddy job they fobbed you off with with. [1:25.67] surprised they let you have it in this room anyway, the acoustics are all wrong. [1:29.90] if you raise the ceiling four feet... [1:31.99] put the fireplace from that wall to that wall... [1:34.11] you'll still only get the stereophonic effect if you sit in the bottom of that cupboard. [1:40.21] i see... i see you've got your negative feedback coupled in with your push-pull-input-output. [1:46.96] take that across through your redded pickup to your tweeter, [1:49.70] if you're modding more than eight, you're going to get wow on your top. [1:53.44] try to bring that down through your pre-amp rumble filter to your woofer, [1:57.67] what'll you get? flutter on your bottom! [2:01.15] both: high fidelity, [2:03.03] flanders: ffrr for me. [2:04.98] both: i've an opera here that you shan't escape, [2:07.62] on miles and miles of recording tape. [2:10.55] high decibel gain, [2:12.69] is easy to obtain. [2:14.55] flanders: with the tone control at a single touch, [2:16.68] swann: bel canto sounds like double dutch. [2:19.21] both: but i never did care for music much, [2:21.94] it's the high fidelity! [2:36.66] flanders: this is perhaps a good moment to explain that we don't normally have these things standing around here, [2:39.97] but tonight they are recording this - stereophonically, [2:43.76] in fact - for posterity. so wherever you're sitting now, that's where you'll be on the record. [2:55.76] sit up nice and straight. any of you feel like rolling in the aisles or being carried out helpless with mirth, [2:59.38] this is a jolly good night to do it! do you want to say hello to posterity? [3:03.00] swann: hello! [3:04.20] flanders: hello, posterity! if we sort of move around a bit, they'll use it for demonstration purposes.