That's Your Funeral-Barry Humphries/Paul Whitsun-Jones/Sonia Parker

Oliver! Soundtrack Miscellaneous That's Your Funeral MR. BUMBLE (spoken) Liberal terms, Mr. Sowerberry...Liberal terms? Three pounds! SOWERBERRY (spoken) Well, as a matter of fact, I was needing a boy.... MR. BUMBLE He's a born undertaker's mute. I can see him in his black silk suit. Following behind the funeral procession... With his features fixed in a suitable expression. There'll be horses with tall balck plumes To escort us to the family tombs, With mourners In all corners Who've been taught to week in tune. Then the coffin lined with satin. That's your funeral. MRS. SOWERBERRY That's your funeral. SOWERBERRY Large enough to wear your hat in. That's your funearl. MRS. SOWERBERRY That's your funeral. SOWERBERRY We're just here to glamourize you for that Endless sleep. MRS. SOWERBERRY AND SOWERBERRY You might just as well look fetching When you're six feet deep. MRS. SOWERBERRY At the wake we'll drink a toddy To the body beautiful. MR. SOWERBERRY That's your funeral. MRS. SOWERBERRY Not our funeral. BOTH That's your funeral. SOWERBERRY If you're fond of overeating That's your funeral. MRS. SOWERBERRY That's your funeral. SOWERBERRY Starve yourself by undereating That's your funeral. THE FUNERAL PROCESSION That's your funeral? MRS. SOWERBERRY Visualize the earth descentind on you clod by clod. You can't come back when you're buried Underneath the ...sod. MRS. SOWERBERRY AND SOWERBERRY We will not reduce our prices. Keep your vices usual. SOWERBERRY That's your funeral. MRS. SOWERBERY Not our funeral. MRS. SOWERBERRY Not our funeral. ALL That's your funeral. MR. BUMBLE I don't think this song is funny. SOWERBERRY That's your funeral. MR. BUMBLE Here's the boy, now where's the money? SOWERBERRY That's your funeral. MR. BUMBLE That's your funeral. SOWERBERRY We don't harbour thoughts macabre, There's no need to frown. MRS. SOWERBERRY AND SOWEBERRY In the end we'll either burn you up or nail you down. We love coughs and wheezes And diseases called incurable. That's your funeral. No one else's funearl. SOWERBERRY That's your... MRS. SOWEBERRY That's your... BOTH Funeral!