Ikea-Jonathan Coulton

Long ago in days of yore It all began with a god named Thor. There were Vikings and boats And some plans for a furniture store. It's not a bodega, it's not a mall And they sell things for apartments smaller than mine As if there were apartments smaller than mine Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men Everyone has a home And if you don't have a home you can buy one there So rent a car or take the bus Lay your cash down and put your trust In the land where the furniture folds to a much smaller size Billy the bookcase says hello And so does a table whose name is Ingo And the chair is a ladder-back birch but his friends call him Karl Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men Everyone has a home And if you don't have a home you can buy one there Ikea: plywood, brushed steel Ikea: meatballs, tasty Ikea: Allen wrenches All of them for free All of them for me I'm sorry I said Ikea sucks I just bought a table for 60 bucks And a chair and a lamp And a shelf and some candles for you I was a doubter just like you Till I saw the American dream come true In New Jersey, they got a god damned Swedish parade Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men Everyone has a home But if you don't have a home you can buy one there