There is Nothin' Like A Dame-Dee Snider/Will Swenson/Tony Sheldon/Nick Adams

We've got sunlight on the sand We've got moonlight on the sea We've got mangoes and bananas we can pick right off a tree We've got volleyball and ping-pong and a lot of dandy games What ain't we got? We ain't got dames! We get packages from home We get movies, we get shows We get speeches from our skipper And advice from Tokyo Rose We get letters doused with perfume, We get dizzy from the smell What don't we get? You know damn well We've got nothing to put on a clean white suit for What we need is what there ain't no substitute for There is nothing like a dame Nothing in the world There is nothing you can name That is anything like a dame We feel restless, we feel blue We feel lonely and in brief We feel every kind of feeling But the feeling of relief We feel hungry as the wolf felt when he met Red Riding Hood What don't we feel? We don't feel good Lots of things in life are beautiful but, brother There is one particular thing that is nothing whatsoever In any way, shape, or form like any other There is nothing like a dame Nothing in the world There is nothing you can name That is anything like a dame Nothing else is built the same Nothing in the world... Has a soft and wavy frame Like the silhouette of a dame There is absolutely nothing like the frame Of a dame So supposed a dame ain't bright Or completely free from flaws Or as faithful as a bird-dog Or as kind as Santa Claus It's a waste of time to worry over things that they have not Be thankful for The things they've got There is nothing that you can name That is anything like a dame There are no books like a dame And nothing looks like a dame There are no drinks like a dame And nothing thinks like a dame Nothing acts like a dame Or attracts like a dame There ain't a thing that's wrong with any man here That can't be cured by putting him near A girly, womanly, female, feminine dame