J.O.S.-Jimmy Smith

JOS - Smith And now we wish to honor you with The story of Joseph Smith, the American Moses Well, this is very good, praise Christ Mormon I'm going to take you back in time (Mormon) To the United States, 1823 (Mormon) A small and odd village called Upstate New York (Upstate) There was disease and famine (So sick) But also in this village lived a simple farmer Who would change everything His name was Joseph Smith Hiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiya Joseph Smith, American Moses Praise be to Joseph, American prophet man Aye, my name is Joseph Smith And I am going to ***** this baby What? No no Joseph, don't ***** the baby Joseph Smith, don't ***** the baby Suddenly the clouds parted And Joseph Smith was visited by God Joseph Smith, do not ***** a baby I will get rid of your AIDS, if you ***** this frog Hiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiya Joseph Smith *****ed the frog God gave him And his AIDS went away Then a great wizard named Moroni came down From the Starship Enterprise Joseph Smith, your village is shit You shall lead the villagers to a new village Take these *****ing golden plates Away And on the plates were written the directions to a new land Sal Tlay Ka Siti (Sal Tlay Ka Siti) Joseph tried to convince all the villagers To follow him and his golden plates Liberation, equality No more slavery for Upstate Mormon people I got de golden plates (Gold plates) I'm gonna lead the people (We head West) We gotta stick together (Mormons) We gotta help each other (We're Mormons) And so we climb the mountain (We head West) And we cross the river (We head West) And we fight the oppression (Mormons) By being nice to everyone (We are Mormons) Not so fast Mormons, you shall not pass my mountain Down from the mountain look who comes The American warlord Brigham Young Yes, I am Brigham Young I cut off my daughter's clitoris That made God angry so he turned my nose Into a clit for punishment Brigham Young, his nose was a clitoris What will you do Joseph, will you fight the clitoris man Not fight him, help him Oh Joseph Smith took his magical ***** frog And rubbed it upon Brigham Young's clit face And behold Brigham was cured Joseph Smith magical AIDS frog Brigham Young, frog on his clit face Brigham Young was so grateful He decided to join the Mormons on their journey Compassion, cutesy Let's be really *****ing polite to everyone I got de golden plates (Gold plates) I'm gonna lead the people (We head West) We gotta stick together (Mormons) Now comes the part of our story that gets a little bit sad (Oh) After traveling for so long, the Mormons ran out of fresh water And become sick with dysentery Water go to the water, water go to the cup Cup go to the stomach, shit come out the butt Shit go in the water, water go in the cup Shit go down the stomach, shit come out the butt Ugh, oh ***** Oh no, the prophet Joseph Smith is now getting sick Shit go in the water, water go in the cup Cup go to the thirsty, shit go to the stomach Blood come out the butt, blood go in the water Water go in the cup, cup go to the tongue Shit blood in the stomach, shit blood in the mouth Shit blood on the insides, water come out the butt Brigham Young you must take the golden plates And lead the Mormons to the Promised Land Plghh Desperation, mortality, loss of faith I got de golden plates (Gold plates) I'm got to lead the people (We head West) We gotta stick together Even though their prophet had died The Mormons stuck together And helped each other and were really nice To everyone they came across And then one day the Mormons finally found Sal Tlay Ka Siti (Sal Tlay Ka Siti) And there, the Mormons danced with Ewoks And were greeted by Jesus Welcome Mormons Now, let's all have as many babies as we can And make big Mormon families ***** your woman, ***** your man This is all part of God's plan Mormons ***** all that they can We're in Salt Lake City land Thank you, thank you but now we are *****ing Thank you, thank you, but God wants us *****ing Thank you, thank you, but get back to *****ing Thank you, thank you, God Joseph Smith ***** frog Brigham Young clit face Shit come out the butt Jesus says *****, ***** Mormons