International Jet Set-Specials

[00:08.84]Good evening ladies and gentlemen [00:10.42]This is your captain speaking [00:12.02]Welcome aboard DC 10 flight number 1313 [00:15.21]We will be cruising at a height of 25000 feet [00:18.24]At an air speed of 600 miles per hour [00:21.26]Headphones will be provided [00:22.69]By request for a varied program of in flight music [00:25.98]Have a good flight [00:26.96] [01:19.70]Safety belts and sickness bags jet lag downer pills [01:23.98]Duty free booze and fags make me feel ill [01:28.36]A vapor trail from A to B away from normal sanity [01:32.73]It all seems so absurd to me [01:37.10]I've seen the carpets on the walls of hotels rooms around the world [01:45.71]I never want to hear the screams [01:50.03]Of the teenage girls in other people's dreams [01:56.21] [02:03.60]Spread the disease from the South China Sea [02:11.58]To the beach hotel Malibu [02:21.34]Phone my girlfriend to ask her how's her weekend [02:29.01]I say hi Terry here and she says Terry who the hell are you [02:40.18] [02:54.15]The businessmen are having fun [02:58.20]Are they on a different plane to me [03:00.71]I've lost touch with reality they all seem so absurd to me [03:05.20]Like well dressed chimpanzees [03:07.23] [03:16.32]Spend and spend and spend and spend [03:20.81]Will the muzak never end [03:25.80] [05:07.75]Ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking [05:10.33]Due to expected engine failures [05:12.26]We will be forced to attempt an emergency landing [05:15.43]Please remain seated extinguish all cigarettes and fasten safety belts [05:19.79]Follow the emergency procedures laid out [05:21.52]In the pamphlet located in front of your seats [05:24.31]For normal breathing oxygen masks will be released [05:27.11]From the compartment above your head [05:29.16]Please remain calm [05:30.35]And follow the instructions of your stewardess at all times [05:33.61]This is a recording [05:35.10]