Dread's Almanack-Judge Dread

[Judge Dread]: "Coo, what a nice day. I think I'll have a lay down in the sand, terrific! Might as well get me rock out. Don't leave it in the sun to long though, it'll get all sticky. Here, is that a band I hear playing? Oh, the're playing my tune!" When I go down the seaside I'm feeling rather rude The girls in their bikinis Are showing all their boobs And when they see my stick of rock They all shout out with glee If all you give it all away Please save a lick for me Oh ho ho ho oh what a big one I've never seen one as big as that before Oh ho ho ho oh what a big one It must be fourteen inches long or more! I took a stroll along the beach My rock was in my hand I saw a girl buried Up to her neck in sand She said some boys did this to me * So please help get me out Before I could assist her My rock shot in her mouth And she cried- Oh ho ho ho oh what a big one I've never seen one as big as that before Oh ho ho ho oh what a big one It must be fourteen inches long or more! I'm always in the discos As soon as the sun goes down I chat up all the nice galls With bodies nice and brown I take them back to me chalet And they always get a shock When I turn the lights on And they see the size of me rock They all cry- Oh ho ho ho oh what a big one I've never seen one as big as that before Oh ho ho ho oh what a big one It must be fourteen inches long or more! When me holidays are over Me rock goes home with me Athough it's not as big as it was It's big enough for me If you want to know who my girlfriend is Take a look around the place She's the one in the corner With a smile upon her face And she loves that it's a big one She's never seen one as big as that before And she loves that it's a big one It must be fourteen inches long or more! [Judge Dread]: "Well darling, I bet you've never seen one as big as this have you?" [Girlfriend]: "Oh yes I have. The milkman's got one, and he showed it to me while you were on holiday" [Judge Dread]: "Coo, that must be what they mean by 'are you getting enough'. I'll tell you what, you're not getting any more of mine!" [Girlfriend]: "Oh come on" Oh ho ho ho oh what a big one I've never seen one as big as that before Oh ho ho ho oh what a big one It must be fourteen inches long or more!