Dave's House-Cosmo Jarvis

[ti:Dave's House] [ar:Cosmo Jarvis] [al:Is The World Strange Or Am I S] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.08]What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house [00:02.89]What happens in Dave's house stays with me [00:05.01]What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house [00:07.64]And if you tell your friends they won't believe [00:09.63]What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house [00:12.31]What happens in Dave's house stays unknown [00:14.26]What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house [00:16.77]So now we have a place that we can go [00:18.83]You can do it in a closet [00:20.64]But I'm not sure that's the best place [00:22.46]See you can't lock the doors [00:24.02]So maybe try and do it [00:25.26]When your girlfriend's sleeping [00:26.13]Make sure she can't hear you creeping [00:28.42]Instead build a shed [00:30.03]To facilitate the act [00:30.56]But if someone sees you [00:32.31]You might as well pack your [00:33.87]Bags and leave the country [00:34.87]Run free like a squirrel in an oak tree [00:37.37]Slowly your appalling technique will improve [00:39.42]You'll have to move to a new spot [00:41.54]Where not a soul intrudes [00:42.79]Like a bank vault all you'd need is the keys [00:45.25]But if a bank robber caught you [00:46.16]He'd call the police [00:47.43]And then what back to the closet [00:49.49]No there must be some sick hole we can go [00:51.98]And do what we do in God's sweet peace [00:54.54]And on a Friday have a coffee and talk about the week [00:57.16]In the meantime you'll have to settle [00:58.85]For disused petrol stations [01:00.03]Nature reserves and grandma's basement [01:01.35] [01:01.94]Many blatant signs of nefarious areas [01:04.13]If you do see a human being [01:06.06]Go somewhere scarier [01:06.57]I tried it in a hospital one time [01:08.87]But like a fool I forgot that they're open all the time [01:11.68]You could travel to a dead relative's old place [01:13.74]And if they really are dead [01:15.23]They'll let you stay a couple days [01:16.61]After you do it don't stay put [01:18.42]Go to the last place people will look for you [01:21.31]And also don't forget that alibis are important too [01:23.49]Somebody you trust never somebody new [01:25.68]This is the life and there is no solution [01:28.04]Until somebody forms us and institution [01:30.17]Where the me's and the you's and the everybodys [01:32.60]Can go do this sh*t without having to worry [01:35.29]What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house [01:38.15]What happens in Dave's house stays with me [01:40.28]What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house [01:42.71]And if you tell your friends they won't believe [01:44.90]What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house [01:47.34]What happens in Dave's house stays unknown [01:49.39]What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house [01:52.32]So now we have a place that we can go [01:54.44]Well you love her [02:14.58]Been relationshipping for a year [02:15.89]And you're never gonna cheat [02:17.32]So have no fear my love it's okay [02:19.01]I know you had a dream that he was cheating on you [02:22.22]Don't cry but please scream [02:23.22]And a Friday gives you a bronze idea [02:25.03]To go and see Dave for a chat and a beer [02:27.90]But oh dear who's here but that girl you imagined [02:29.96]When you're shaking up yourself to Jasmine and Aladdin fantasies [02:32.66]You're rubbing and the lamp's gonna thank you [02:35.22]By showing you the genie man [02:36.46]But you forgot the tissue [02:37.71]Anyway Brixham I mean Dave's town [02:39.89]Dave the king pimp seems to have called you a girl down [02:42.58]And you love your man Dave [02:43.38]The beer was free and splendid [02:44.57]But you kept it pretty distant that you're happily girlfriended [02:46.74]You try and squeeze it in before the inevitable [02:48.99]Puts his hand on your balls [02:50.36]And dips some in some hot sauce [02:51.95]And then orders you a six course meal of unnecessary heart ache [02:53.95]Too late you already pinched her a** [02:55.73]And told her that she looks great [02:57.34]You look at Dave one last time [02:58.41]And flash at him those eyebrows [02:59.46]The eyebrows that you save [03:00.09]For when you're in need of a way out [03:01.90]Before you know it you're naked [03:03.02]In the proverbial deep-end [03:03.83]She likes you numb nuts [03:04.65]But you forgot about your girlfriend [03:06.21]Probably sitting at home thinking about you right now [03:07.41] [03:08.05]Quick say you need a pee and just take five minutes out [03:10.70]You need to call her to drunk to dial [03:12.51]A trial but you make it [03:13.76]Ring ring no answer [03:14.57]You're screwed man it's way too late [03:15.94]It's comes down to a choice that you've already made [03:17.69]Cause you're a slave to the power of the red dressed dame [03:19.87]You need Dave's help but he's done done enough [03:22.17]See this was no coincidence [03:23.80]Dave set this up [03:25.11]You're angry and you're happy [03:26.17]And you don't know what to say [03:27.48]Dave whispers in your ear [03:28.48]"You can use my place" [03:29.91]What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house [03:34.40]What happens in Dave's house stays with me [03:36.53]What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house [03:39.09]And if you tell your friends they won't believe [03:41.33]What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house [03:43.89]What happens in Dave's house stays unknown [03:45.95]What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house [03:48.63]So now we have a place that we can go