The Biggest Aspidistra in the World-Gracie Fields

[ti:The Biggest Aspidistra in the World] [ar:Gracie Fields] [al:The Biggest Aspidistra in the World - Gracie's Favourites] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.01]The Biggest Aspidistra in the World - Gracie Fields [00:00.02]Written by：Connor/Haines/Harper [00:00.49]For years we had an aspidistra in a flower pot [00:04.24] [00:04.86]On the whatnot near the Atstand in the all [00:07.64] [00:09.09]It didn't seem to grow 'til one day our brother Joe [00:12.81] [00:13.47]Had a notion that he'd make it strong and tall [00:16.91] [00:17.97]So he's crossed it with an acorn from an oak tree [00:21.55] [00:22.52]And he's planted it against the garden wall [00:25.88] [00:27.70]It shot up like a rocket 'til it's nearly reached the sky [00:31.81] [00:32.37]It's the biggest aspidistra in the world [00:35.99] [00:37.08]We couldn't see the top of it it got so bloomin' high [00:40.68]It's the biggest aspidistra in the world [00:44.37] [00:45.71]When father's had a snoot full at his pub Bunch of Grapes [00:49.37] [00:49.90]He doesn't go all fighting mad and getting into scrapes [00:52.81] [00:53.38]No you'll find him in his bear skin playing Tarzan of the apes [00:58.07] [00:58.61]Off the biggest aspidistra in the world [01:02.14] [01:04.07]The tom cats and their sweethearts love to spend their evenings out [01:08.24] [01:08.80]Up the biggest aspidistra in the world [01:12.20] [01:13.53]They all begin meowing when the buds begin to sprout [01:16.61] [01:17.12]From the biggest aspidistra in the world [01:20.89] [01:21.98]The dogs all come around for miles a lovely sight to see [01:26.36] [01:26.92]They sniff around for hours and hours and wag their tails with glee [01:30.88] [01:31.62]So I've had to put a notice up to say it's not a tree [01:36.65] [01:37.29]It's the biggest aspidistra in the world [01:40.88] [01:43.30]We have to get it watered by the local fire brigade [01:46.82] [01:47.64]So they put the water rates up half a crown [01:50.77] [01:51.93]The roots stuff up the drains grow along the country lanes [01:56.31] [01:57.11]And they came up half a mile outside the town [02:00.47] [02:01.80]Once we hired an auditorium for a hot house [02:06.06] [02:06.86]But a jealous rival went and burnt it down [02:10.79] [02:13.02]It's getting worn and weiry and its leaves are turning grey [02:17.94] [02:18.99]It's the oldest aspidistra in the world [02:23.36] [02:25.03]So we water it with half a pint of Guinness every day [02:28.77] [02:29.87]It's the stoutest Aspidistra in the world [02:33.92] [02:35.63]The borough council told us that we've got to chop it down [02:39.90] [02:40.53]It interferes with Aeroplanes that fly above the town [02:44.58] [02:45.31]So we sold it to a wood yard for a lousy half a Crown [02:50.46] [02:51.03]It's the biggest aspidistra in the world