The End of the News-Charles K. L. Davis

[ti:The End of the News] [ar:Charles K. L. Davis] [al:Charlie Sings Kolohe] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]The End of the News - Charles K. L. Davis [00:06.12]We are told very loudly and often [00:08.86]To lift up our hearts, [00:10.50] [00:13.09]We are told that good humour will soften [00:15.81]Fate's cruelest darts [00:17.98] [00:19.79]So however bad our domestic troubles may be [00:24.30] [00:25.65]We just shake with amusement and sing with glee. [00:34.33] [00:35.68]Heigho, Mum's had those pains again, [00:40.02]Granny's in bed with her varicose veins again, [00:44.00]Everyone's gay because dear cousin Florrie [00:48.33] [00:49.19]Was run down on Saturday night by a lorry, [00:55.31]We're so glad, Elsie's means candy [00:58.83] [00:59.38]A card down the when this day [01:01.60]After her malenge [01:03.56]When Albert fell down all [01:05.43]The steps of the Town Hall [01:07.97]He got three bad cuts and a bruise. [01:12.18] [01:12.74]We're delighted [01:14.12] [01:14.78]To be able to say [01:16.57] [01:17.30]We're unable to pay [01:18.97]Off our debts, [01:19.74] [01:20.71]We're excited [01:22.38]Because Percy's got mange [01:26.83] [01:27.39]And we've run up a bill at the vet's. [01:30.94] [01:32.54]Three cheers! [01:34.37]Ernie's got boils again, [01:37.03]Everything's covered in ointment and oils again, [01:40.09] [01:40.92]Now he's had seven [01:43.11]So God's in his heaven [01:45.33]And that is the end of the news. [01:49.01] [01:50.57]Heigho, everything's fearful, [01:54.72]We do wish that Vi was a little more cheerful, [01:58.19] [01:58.77]The only result of her last operation [02:03.43] [02:04.40]Has been gales of wind at the least provocation. [02:12.37]Now don't laugh, poor Mrs Mason [02:15.22] [02:15.73]Was washing some smalls in the lavatory basin [02:19.26] [02:19.90]When that old corroded [02:21.32]Gas heater exploded [02:24.10]And blew her smack into the news. [02:29.24] [02:29.82]We're in clover, [02:32.25]Uncle George is in clink [02:34.07] [02:34.68]For refusing to work for the war, [02:37.63]Now it's over [02:39.16] [02:39.90]Auntie Maud seems to think [02:42.19] [02:43.14]He'll be far better placed than before. [02:51.51] [02:52.44]What fun dear little Sidney. [02:55.59] [02:56.40]Produced a spectacular stone in his kidney, [03:00.47] [03:01.13]He's had eleven [03:03.20]So god's in his heaven [03:05.33] [03:05.84]And that is the end of the news. [03:09.68] [03:11.23]Heigho, what a catastrophe, [03:14.78] [03:15.66]Grandfather's brain is beginning to atrophy, [03:19.20] [03:20.45]Last sunday night after eating an apple [03:25.45] [03:26.16]He made a rude noise in the Methodist chapel. [03:31.96] [03:33.02]Good egg! [03:33.90]Dear little doris [03:35.42] [03:35.96]Has just been expelled for assaulting Miss Morris. [03:40.87]Both of her sisters [03:42.34]Are covered in blisters [03:43.54] [03:44.29]From standing about in the queues. [03:48.55] [03:49.13]We've been done in [03:51.37]By that mortgage foreclosure [03:53.49] [03:54.10]And Father went out on a blind, [03:56.38] [03:57.53]He got run in [04:00.70]For indecent exposure [04:04.65]And ever so heavily fined. [04:09.06] [04:10.58]Heigho hi diddle diddle, [04:14.43] [04:15.18]Aunt Isabel's shingles have met in the middle, [04:19.35] [04:20.37]She's buried in Devon [04:22.02] [04:22.63]So god's in his heaven [04:24.59] [04:25.38]And that is the end of the news