Too Many Cookers-Michael Flanders/Donald Swann

[ti:Too Many Cookers] [ar:Michael Flanders] [al:Mud, Glorious Mud! The Best of Flanders & Swann] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Too Many Cookers (From 'More Out Of The Hat', 1957) - Michael Flanders/Donald Swann [00:19.39]When we had an old fashioned kitchen [00:22.32] [00:23.37]Cooking was a slow but easy going job [00:26.24] [00:27.24]A place to talk a place to sit and stich in [00:31.19]While we kept half an eye on the kettle on the hob [00:34.18] [00:35.64]Cooks went the way of the dinosaur [00:37.26] [00:38.30]We struggled on alone [00:39.39] [00:40.44]Then science provided the answer [00:42.14] [00:43.14]Freed the british housewife [00:44.68] [00:45.59]Gave her a life of her own [00:47.04] [00:48.90]A kitchen on the modern plan may be a fancy looker [00:53.12] [00:54.25]But we've jumped out of the frying [00:56.02]Pan into the pressure cooker [00:58.68] [01:03.03]We have every sort of gadget now for every sort of chore [01:06.87] [01:07.59]But it's much more work [01:08.73] [01:09.24]And worry than it ever was before [01:10.88] [01:11.95]There are cables on the tables [01:13.63] [01:14.24]With plugs of every shape [01:15.74] [01:16.52]And what we save on elbow grease [01:18.36] [01:20.62]We spend on insulating tape [01:22.81] [01:26.54]The fridge is quite prodigious at refridgerating grub [01:29.94] [01:30.78]But every forty minutes it goes [01:33.04]Bub bub bub bub bub bub bub [01:34.11] [01:35.39]We're confused by all the fuses [01:37.57] [01:38.08]The oven changes gear [01:39.53] [01:40.54]It's never a cook [01:41.72]You really need a consulting engineer [01:46.61] [01:49.54]There's a pinger on the ringer [01:51.47]We can't hear each other speak [01:52.73] [01:53.72]That thing on the shelf's been whipping itself [01:55.79] [01:56.31]For the best part of a week [01:57.44] [01:58.31]The pilot light is winking [01:59.52] [02:00.36]We can't locate the switch [02:01.64] [02:02.57]We've every sort of gadget [02:04.14]But we don't know which is which [02:06.49] [02:08.28]With our new pneumatic icer [02:09.53] [02:10.18]Self actuator dicer [02:10.67] [02:11.20]The ideal for cooking ricer [02:12.73]And hard boiled duck egg slicer [02:14.37]With the universal grater [02:16.01]And a patent dessicator [02:17.29]The vibrating dehydrator [02:18.54]And a plastic percolator [02:19.99]The electric coffee grinder [02:21.21]The serrated bacon rinder [02:22.71]The expungable reminder [02:24.28]And the vermicelli winder [02:25.95] [02:26.64]Oh we've every sort of gadget [02:29.44] [02:30.17]And it's rather hard to think [02:31.54] [02:32.32]We still can't open sardine cans [02:34.92] [02:37.37]And we still stop up the sink [02:41.45] [02:48.97]We don't want a labour saving kitchen [02:52.12] [02:53.01]We much prefer the one we had before [02:56.32] [02:57.32]Why did science have to pitch [02:59.33] [03:00.23]In to our nice old fashioned kitchen [03:02.50] [03:03.76]Please don't save us labour any more