My Fair Lady: A Hymn to Him-Original London Cast

A Hymn to Him - Rex Harrison What in all of heaven could've promted her to go After such a triumph as the ball What could've depressed her; What could've possessed her I cannot understand the wretch at all Women are irrational that's all there is to that There heads are full of cotton hay and rags They're nothing but exasperating irritating Vacillating calculating agitating Maddening and infuriating hags Pickering why can't a woman be more like a man Hmm Yes Why can't a woman be more like a man Men are so honest so thoroughly square; Eternally noble historic'ly fair; Who when you win will always give your back a pat Well why can't a woman be like that Why does ev'ryone do what the others do Can't a woman learn to use her head Why do they do ev'rything their mothers do Why don't they grow up- well like their father instead Why can't a woman take after a man Men are so pleasant so easy to please; Whenever you are with them you're always at ease Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours Of course not Would you be livid if I had a drink or two Nonsense Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers Never Well why can't a woman be like you One man in a million may shout a bit Now and then there's one with slight defects; One perhaps whose truthfulness you doubt a bit But by and large we are a marvelous sex Why can't a woman take after like a man Cause men are so friendly good natured and kind A better companion you never will find If I were hours late for dinner would you bellow Of course not If I forgot your silly birthday would you fuss Nonsense Would you complain if I took out another fellow Never Well why can't a woman be like us Mrs Pearce you're a woman Why can't a woman be more like a man Men are so decent such regular chaps Ready to help you through any mishaps Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum Why can't a woman be a chum Why is thinking something women never do Why is logic never even tried Straight'ning up their hair is all they ever do Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside Why can't a woman behave like a man If I was a woman who'd been to a ball Been hailed as a princess by one and by all; Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing And carry on as if my home were in a tree Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going Why can't a woman be like me